Nice girls finish last, but they get to wear the princess dress

We have reached the portion of the vacation where I may have possibly run out of nice. One of the best perks of my job is that I get to spend great portions of my time alone, whether it's in my car driving to and from my jobs or working on my computer, all alone. I love spending time with family but I most certainly reach a point where I just need to be alone some, too. Luckily, I always have work with me. So when I open my laptop and put my headphones on, everyone leaves me alone.

I used to want to be NICE to everyone. I really did. I loved being nice and having people be nice to me. If someone would smile at me in the hall at school, it would just make my day. As I got older, I realized that I don't need someone to be nice to me to make me want to just be nice to everyone else. Now, don't get me wrong. I still want to be nice. I strive to be nicer, gentler. But there's a drawback to that, as well. Take, for example, my sister-in-law. She's possibly the nicest person I've ever met (aside from her mother, my mother-in-law, who may very well be sainted). She is kind and gentle. A true motherly figure. My daughter calls her Nicki-Mama with good reason. She is gentle and kind and reminds me of Snow White in the woods with all the animals surrounding her while she sings a song. But because of this, her children take advantage of her kind nature. She waits on them hand and foot. They merely say "I'm thirsty" and she jumps up and gets them a drink. And when it's the wrong drink or not the right cup or straw, she smiles and goes and gets the right one, washing the wrong one by hand and putting it away without a complaint or dirty look. "I'm hungry" and she's off to McDonald's or into the kitchen to fix them a snack. Now, understand, her children are 14 and 11. Spoiled children are a whole other blog.

But I just can't do it. I don't mean to say I don't take care of my two-year-old. I do. She's two. She can't open the fridge or pour herself some milk. Yet. But she will when she's able. I will never forget my friend's three-year-old going to the fridge, getting his yogurt, getting his spoon, bringing it to his mother to open, taking the lid to the trash and going and eating his snack. At three. His mother is also one of the kindest, sweetest, most caring people I've ever known. But she's not a slave to her children. She is teaching them to take care of themselves. And she's still nice, kind, and gentle.

I try very hard to be gentle and sweet with K. I really do. When I lose my temper and yell, I always apologize. But I also talk with her about it. I want her to understand we all get mad, frustrated, lose our tempers. And it's okay. We can't BE NICE every minute of every day. I always use the Belle/Beast analogy with K. Belle is beautiful and kind and patient. The Beast yells and is snarly and mean. I want to teach her to be kind and "nice" to people. But at the same time not to the point of being a victim or a slave to others. As with everything else, I think it's a balancing act. We all want to be a nice person. But sometimes it is necessary to growl and snarl and let a little of the beast out, too. Sporting events are good for this. Yelling loudly at a football team is very acceptable. Whereas, screaming at your child for dumping flour all over the floor is not. (I did not yell at her this morning, by the way. I laughed when she dumped an entire cup of flour on the floor while her grandmother smiled and watched her be creative...I'm pretty sure all she "made" was a mess)

I will wrap this up. Maybe I can find the place to be, between sweetest ever and mean, foul bitch. Maybe not. Just stay away if you see me with a snarl on my face. I will have the yellow, flower Belle dress on again later.